Category Archives: The Beauty of Gray

Finding the way back from the gray of losing mom to brain cancer…

Texts

The other night I got the urge to scroll through some texts from mom. I miss texting/talking/laughing with her. So I read our last conversations. Some made me smile. Some made me cry. Some made me ache for the past. … Continue reading

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March 1

March 1, 2012, mom underwent surgery to figure out what exactly was going on in her head. She was actually misdiagnosed with a stroke at first. It didn’t have the normal characteristics of a tumor. Some suggested it may be … Continue reading

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In Stone

And there it is in stone. With death, there comes all these “things” you have to do. You call the funeral home to pick up your loved one. You go to buy and plan all you need done. You have … Continue reading

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12-18-13: the sleepless nights

I usually try to fall asleep on the couch with the background noise of the tv. The silence is too loud for me on some days. I usually succeed. I fall asleep and then wake up groggy, stagger to bed, … Continue reading

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“Lasts” Emotions

Everyone will let you know about how hard all the “firsts” will be when you lose someone. First birthday, first holidays, first family vacation, etc. Lately I have been thinking of the last things we did together. Matthew asked me … Continue reading

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3 months clinging to the Old Rugged Cross

Last week at church, I looked at the program and saw that we¬†would be singing The Old Rugged cross. This was one of mom’s favorite church songs. It made her cry EVERYTIME we sang it. It got to the point … Continue reading

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“Firsts” Emotions

I feel I have so much on my mind that I can’t even get out what I am trying to say. There have been some overwhelming emotions lately. It doesn’t seem to be just me either. Isabella has talked about … Continue reading

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The strange feelings

There have been many days that the grief will strike at the strangest times. It can be in the middle of a conversation, whether it is about mom or not. It can be in a quiet moment. It can be … Continue reading

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Love Never Ends

I’ve read 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:4-8 many times and honestly, I thought the greater gifts were the ones that everyone saw and gave praise to. I’d like to share how the LORD used Aunt Cindy’s life and example to bring me … Continue reading

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How Am I Doing?

This was the last picture I took with my mom. She would be REAL mad that I let people see it! She was swollen from the meds. Had bed head. And she hated her crooked smile. But I cherish it. … Continue reading

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