Texts

20140325-230404.jpg

The other night I got the urge to scroll through some texts from mom. I miss texting/talking/laughing with her. So I read our last conversations. Some made me smile. Some made me cry. Some made me ache for the past. The one above, I remember like it was yesterday. This was when I noticed the downfall. This text reminds me of our relationship. This was us. We were buddies that shared secrets together and that helped each calm down during vent sessions! And yes I do remember the secret I wanted to tell her :). I remember everything I wanted to tell her.
I came across a song a couple of days ago that hit me hard. It just screamed everything I have been feeling.
Jealous of the Angels by Jenn Bostic

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreamin’
You’re not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then

God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

Singin’ hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight

20140325-231354.jpg

20140325-231643.jpg

20140325-231759.jpg

20140325-231816.jpg

20140325-231833.jpg

About Sherry

I'm not sure about me yet. I lost my mom, my best friend, my confidant to brain cancer. I see the good it has brought in others, I'm just not sure yet how it has changed me for the better. Her kindness and finding joy in sadness has been passed to us, but this is a pain I have never felt. I know she would not want us sitting around crying, she would want us enjoying each other and laughing and continue to grow closer. She loved when we all got together and just laughed and that's what we have been doing. But honestly, I'm really scared of life without her. I relied on her for everything. Most of my time was spent with her, so I'm just not sure about me. I just take it day by day and try to find the beauty of gray.
This entry was posted in The Beauty of Gray and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Texts

  1. 101daystochangemylife says:

    I cried many tears tonight reading your blog. I lost my mumma 6 months ago to a nasty gm tumour just 14 days after she was diagnosed. Like you, I have days where everything is ok. Then something triggers a memory and I am off. I am writing a blog call 101 days to change my life , in a bid to get my emotions into check. Also, helo me build my life again. Xxx

    • Sherry says:

      These things are just absolutely evil. I pray for your recovery from this tragedy. I can’t believe you only had 14 days….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s