Texts

The other night I got the urge to scroll through some texts from mom. I miss texting/talking/laughing with her. So I read our last conversations. Some made me smile. Some made me cry. Some made me ache for the past. The one above, I remember like it was yesterday. This was when I noticed the downfall. This text reminds me of our relationship. This was us. We were buddies that shared secrets together and that helped each calm down during vent sessions! And yes I do remember the secret I wanted to tell her :). I remember everything I wanted to tell her.
I came across a song a couple of days ago that hit me hard. It just screamed everything I have been feeling.
Jealous of the Angels by Jenn Bostic

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreamin’
You’re not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then

God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

Singin’ hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight